This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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