I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
