Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
