you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
