Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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