is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
How external is "for external use only"?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
