is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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