Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
