Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
