gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
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I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
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I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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