i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Screwed.edu
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
