it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
