I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize