Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
