Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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