Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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