There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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