I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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