When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize