HIV tests are more positive than that guy
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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