So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
