What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
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Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
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I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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