Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
