Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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