Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
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I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
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If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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