wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
