break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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