i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
