I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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