I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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