Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
