we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
