Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize