There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
