So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
