I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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