I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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