What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Boobs speak an international language.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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