I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
birth control should be required to get into college
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
