its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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