Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Welp...herpes.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
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I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
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It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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