we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
