I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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