yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
