I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
