but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
