My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
