This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
