I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
