guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
