Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
