HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
