you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
