hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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