Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I can't turn off my feet"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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