I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
either way he was missing a nipple.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
