Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
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Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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