i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
should my penis look like a turkey
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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