if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
