just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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