She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
